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Leadership Skills - Pete Hillman
What is a leader?
Person who directs
One who leads from the back and the front
One that serves
Who steers by suggestion
One who guides
One who is humble
Can identify and release potential
Who delegates and negotiates
One who can assess character etc.
One who is fair, just and able to reason
Who prefers the needs of others to themselves
All rounder
A motivator
One who is wise
Who can give and take criticism
A person who is approachable, friendly and warm
“You see leadership is an interpersonal matter. People do not follow programmes but leaders who inspire them. They act when a vision stirs in them the reckless hope of something greater than themselves, hope of fulfilment they had never dared to aspire to. And hope is passed from person to person. God-given visions of hope are shared, shared by leaders who see the vision with people who don’t. But sharing is more than talk. Hope bursts into flame when leaders begin to act. As they follow their vision, clearly and openly facing the difficulties, God mobilises the many by the challenging actions of the few.” - John White (Excellence in leadership)
The Art of Leadership
Planning
Should be
As-Is
Goals (ST,MT,LT)
Programmes/Methods, Costs (Money/people/time)
Timetable
Implementation (mini plan)
Follow-up
Organisation
Mission statement
Set key results (Our group will be working well in this area when...)
Directing
Lead by example
Delegation
Delegate results not tasks
Know results expected
Know skills and abilities of people
Performance standards are known
Sufficient authority must be given
Rules must be clear
Help is available
TRUST PEOPLE!
Communication
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong”.<
If you were wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Dramatise your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
Give honest, sincere appreciation.
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of other people’s interests.
Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
Motivation
Set realistic, high but attainable goals for the group.
Develop the feeling of family.
Interpret goals into individual results.
Provide help to individuals in achieving their goals.
Insist on creativity and don’t allow the group to stagnate.
Give needed direction and guidance.
Stimulate the group.
Inspire the group to reach higher.
"I knew in the very heart of my heart that the church....will be all right in the end. And it will be all right because there will always be just a few people like Edwin around in every generation - people who, when the tongues have stopped, and the prophecies have ended, and the kangaroo-hopping has come to a standstill, and the religious posing and posturing fools nobody any more, will still be ready and willing to genuinely share the burdens of the little people who are close to them, committed to the staggering eternal truth that we are one body because we all partake of the one bread.
And I guess they'll be like that because they want, if only in some small way, to be like their master and friend, who long ago hung on a cross, not ashamed at all to be as broken and as silly as [Peter Hillman], and [Jon Fryer], and [Anthony Rose] and the others in my church, and the whole of the rest of the world, because he loved us." - Adrian Plass
Pastoral care and nurture
What is involved in pastoral care?
The idea of pastoral care is to provide effective oversight of all individuals in our keeping and to provide for the meeting of their needs in spiritual, emotional and physical matters giving guidance and teaching where necessary.
Some points to note:-
Pastoral care is something that you provide throughout the week or not at all. You cannot care about someone once a week.
We ALL require pastoral care even those of us who think we are strong enough to cope alone.
Do not allow an individual member of the group to sap all of your strength. You will be better able to care for those in your keeping if you share the burden.
Make yourself available to your group.
Make yourself vulnerable.>
The other leaders are available to help you. If you need help ask!
How people feel is always important (if only to them). You should make sure that people understand that you take their feelings seriously.
When talking through a problem let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Sometimes all a person needs is to let off steam and already know the answer themselves.
If at all possible try to have the person you are talking to come up with the solution to their problems themselves. They are much more likely to stick to the advice if it is their own!
Try to put yourself in their shoes.
If you find that you are getting out of your depth then call a “time out” and ask for help.
Be honest with people and tell them how you feel yourself.
Be wise about “opposite sex” intimate discussions. Remember that the group should be working as a whole so one-to-one conversations may not be as beneficial to all concerned as the inclusion of other group members who can act as “props” for you as well as safety features!
Confidentiality should be maintained throughout and should be an underlying feature of your group’s life together.
Nurture
The intention is that any individuals who make a commitment either through a worship gathering or some other event should be nurtured as part of the ordinary activities of Legacy. We will be running regular “basics” sessions as part of Sunday evenings but more important than that is that people meet as part of a small support group. The person being nurtured in their new found faith should be seen as the responsibility of the whole group and not just that of the individual group leader.
The path to salvation
Look for the signals. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit look for signals that the person is under conviction. They may share that they are searching for something without being aware of what that “something” is. Listen to what the Spirit says to you and ask for prophetic insight. Do not be afraid to share prophetic words but make sure you do so appropriately.
The question. Do not be afraid to ask them the question “Do you want to become a Christian/get saved/give your life to Jesus etc.” although time your question properly. Get past the emotional response and make sure that they are aware of what they are doing. Get them to explain what they are seeking and do not “feed them” the responses you want to hear. Listen to what they are saying and respond accordingly. Point out what Salvation means in the way of changes in lifestyle, friends. It may mean that they have to forgive someone, confess something to someone etc. Do not avoid the tough questions.
The prayer of commitment. Prior to guiding them through the commitment get them to pray for help then you pray for love, help and guidance. Run through the basics of our need for salvation; a) The fall separated man from God, b) We try to build the bridge between us by our good deeds, religion, prayers etc but nothing works, c) Only because of what Jesus did on the Cross can we re-establish our relationship with God, d) We must make a choice of whether to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour and follow Him - the road that leads to Life - or to reject Him - the road that leads to eternal death. Once they understand the basics of Salvation ask if they want to make the step of following Jesus.
If yes - Get them to pray admitting that they are a sinner and in need of forgiveness, ask for Salvation and promise to follow Jesus. If needed guide-pray them through these steps.
Admit – we need to admit that by taking control of our lives ourselves, perhaps acting in ways we shouldn't, we have stolen God's rightful place and we need to hand it back to Him. Stealing God's place is what the bible means by “sin”.
Believe – we need to put our faith in Jesus as God's son believing that he has dealt with the dreadful consequences of our sin. He has put things right between ourselves and God by his life and death and saved us from eternal death which is separation from God. We must ask for and accept his forgiveness and come home!
Hand over – last of all we have to hand over control of our lives to Jesus asking him to make us new people in his image. To use the bible's words we must make him “Lord”.
Then pray for protection and the power of God. (To finish you may want to invite them to pray whatever they feel inside and close by thanking God that you now have a new Brother or Sister).
If no - Accept the decision and find out the stumbling block without pressurising. If that cannot be resolved agree a plan of action and a follow-up date if possible.
Throughout the whole process avoid jargon, although explain any that you need to use like “Salvation” or “Sin”, and always seek to answer questions no matter how trivial or obscure.
Now what? You should check their understanding of what they have just done and make sure they are confident in their decision. Is there anything that the act of Salvation requires them to do such as break habits, mend broken relationships etc? If so then do it now! Get them to tell someone else immediately. If possible allocate them to a support group immediately. If this is not possible then make sure it is done by the next day and in either event stay in contact throughout this first week (every day if necessary!)
Some points to note:-
A new Christian is at a very vulnerable stage in their life and all care and support possible should be provided by the support group.
Try to get the group to “own” the new Christian.
Encourage the rest of the group to make an extra effort to include the new Christian in social activities outside of the group. This will be especially important if their brother or sister are trying to break unhelpful habits, or social activities.
Do not put too much emphasis on a change in personality. That is to say pressure to give up smoking, drinking, swearing etc should not be over emphasised. These changes will come over time and whilst they should not be ignored there will be a time and a place for “delicate” conversations to take place.
Make sure that people understands that their failure to change in an area that they have set themselves will not lead to their being judged by anyone. An atmosphere of love and forgiveness should be present and not one of intolerance and judgementalism.
Make sure that your new sibling can get in contact easily with any members of the group by telephone or in person if they wish. Open yourselves to one other.
If issues come to light where expert help may be required, such as drug abuse, violent behaviour etc., do not make these out to be “major issues” but rather treat them as something which can be dealt with and ask for permission to include an expert, such as one of the older leaders, in dealing with the problem. In this instance your first contact for help should be Pete. This is so that they are aware of potential problems which may exist within the Youth Congregation and so that the relevant “expert” can be involved.
In conclusion
Do not be afraid of the title “Pastoral care”. At its most basic it is just human relationships in which all involved every day of our lives. It is my understanding that, as Christians, we are called to be responsible for each other, sharing each others’ strengths and weaknesses. As scripture commands us “Love one another deeply!”
"There is nothing liberal about coming down the road that another human being is travelling, to meet them and bring them to safety. If that is liberal then God is a liberal. There is nothing liberal about helping people to smash the false gods and images of religion or worldliness that have let them down and given them nothing over the years. If doing that is liberal, then God is a liberal. There is nothing liberal about using divine gifts of creativity and flexibility and ingenuity to open doors of understanding and delight in those who desperately need to know that compassion and care really are waiting for them in the arms of the Father. If that is liberal then God who created the world is a liberal. There is nothing liberal about treading the narrowest path imaginable yourself, but throwing your arms as wide as they'll go to greet and enfold as many others as possible. If that is liberal then all the most godly men and women I've ever known are liberals. There is nothing liberal about staying at the back of the expedition to tie shoelaces, and to encourage the fat ones and the slow ones and the ones whose feet hurt, rather than pushing triumphantly to the front of the line so that you can be the first to the ultimate destination. If doing that is liberal, then Jesus was the greatest liberal of them all." - Adrian Plass
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